Thursday 9 November 2017

Real Love Won't Ever Let You Down

There’s only one thing that truly matters: Love, and love only 

Not what you generate yourself but what you can connect with that is already there, deep inside. It’s that ineffable something in everyone. It’s the natural state, where you don’t choose who to love. You don’t give love, in the end you are love. And we are the first beneficiary. But we need to discover it first, because it’s not what it’s taken to be, it’s not so easy to find.

Everything we do is a means to that end, a search for something real and lasting. Sometimes something valid and positive, sometimes something distracting and inaccurate, until we find the balance, experience the harmony and get it right. Love is the natural state which is discovered when there is stillness and peace, when opinion is not so strong, when misplaced trust is reconciled, when there is acceptance and forgiveness.

Not what it’s taken to be 

With love one is never lonely, never in need of another to become complete. But it’s not such an obvious thing. It’s not what it’s taken to be from nearly every influence we have been subjected to. Love is free from decision, equal in everything, it doesn't separate anyone from you, or you from anyone. Love begets respect, and respect is given equally.

Everyone is continually searching for the source of their own happiness, something you can be sure of that will never change. It’s not very fashionable to speak of love in this way, because who believes in it? But where there is derision there is pain and fear, and where there is pain and fear there is defensiveness and aggression. And that is the main cause of unhappiness, not a material lack, not a shortage of philosophies, but some inarticulate cry for love that takes many a strange and unpredictable form to fill an empty space.

Love is of the heart not in the mind

The real rule of love is that when you give, love comes to you. And that’s a matter of the heart, not of the mind. If we can tap into the universal store of the heart, the natural state, the same is generated around us and in others. Maybe it takes time, and maybe not in the way we might anticipate, but isn’t that how it works? But who is really comfortable with giving without getting something in return? 

It’s a catch-22. You know, in Ireland they say that there are fairies, but that you can only ever see a fairy if you believe in them first. But of course no-one is going to believe in fairies until they’ve actually seen one. So there you have it. The basis of faith is believing first and holding to it through the onset of hesitation and doubt. And it does work, if what you believe in is real.

And therein lies the problem. There are many things that stand in for the real thing, like inaccurate religious teaching, half-complete or half-baked philosophies, private fantasies, gods and goddesses, or even fairies, but surely everyone is searching for a something precious that won’t ever let you down. If love really is the answer you only have to look inside and go to the heart of the matter, which is where all the spiritual masters of all time have always said is where the long search finally comes to rest. In the end it might be the last place to look, but in the final end there’s only one thing that truly matters…

There’s a song about it - please try it with headphones:

With Love in Your Heart

Sometimes words can say so much
Sometimes nothing at all
Sometimes you just want to stay in touch
Sometimes the silence calls

When you look around what is there in
A world of pleasure and pain?
Looking for something to believe in
You know will never change  

CHORUS
With love in your heart 
Can you be lonely?
With love in your heart
Can you want more?
With love in your heart
It’s love and love only 
Love and love only 
That makes you so sure

Love is not such an obvious thing
Not what it’s taken to be
Love is equal in everything
Doesn’t separate you from me

CHORUS

Who would climb the highest mountain?
Who would ford the darkest stream?
Who would bathe in the coldest fountain
Waking from a dream?

CHORUSES


A last thought

In an interview Paul McCartney was once asked, 'What would you say was the lasting meaning of the Beatles?' Without hesitation he replied, 'All you need is love'. There was a long pause, like he’d caught everyone by surprise… He said, 'Shall I elaborate?' Then he said something like: It goes in and out of style, but you keep coming back to it. There are many things in life that are needed in an uncompromising world, but when it comes down to it everyone in their own way is searching for love. 'And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.'


Going more deeply into the Heart




Monday 25 September 2017

I don’t know what I think until I've thought it

Do I think a thought or does the thought come to me?

In the ashram on a Sunday after the morning’s duties the afternoon was often free. It was my habit to retreat to my room, rejoice in not having to answer to anyone or anything for a few hours and maybe read a little. But what I was really after was to find my way into a peaceful inner space where I could just watch my own thoughts. If it didn’t happen straight away a little yoga nidra relaxation was usually enough to get it started. 

In that space time starts to bend. Short times can seem longer and a long time can become surprisingly short. Einstein was right, time is relative. A good afternoon and it could pass by in a flash. What made that happen? If you let your mind go completely free and yet remain with it as an interested observer sooner or later it will sort of open up and reveal and express itself. It is your own presence and lack of judgment of it that sets it free. In this way you can learn interesting things about yourself you didn’t know before. 

One Sunday I was doing this and things were going well and the attention to what was going on in my mind was pretty good. I began to become aware of time bending in a very specific way. At a certain point the thought process slowed right down until I knew I was observing just one thought in very very slow motion. And it took on a cartoon-like quality. 

Imagine a hundred numbered balls suspended in a row (like in a TV lottery). When that one particular thought arose it triggered the release of the hundred balls in a sequence, which was a visualisation of the thought taking place - the thought in the process of coming into being as it were. As the balls are released they drop. As they are dropping you don’t actually know what the thought that they represent will be. Only when all the balls hit the bottom do you know what the thought will actually be. You know the thought is there before you know what the thought will be. Like, wow.

Thought is not that you think!

What I learned from that was not what I expected. The thought itself was nothing significant, long forgotten. What was interesting was that the balls dropped in a random order which was maybe why I did not know what the thought was going to be until all the balls had arrived at the bottom and assembled themselves so to speak and hey presto I know what I think. Now maybe the balls dropping randomly like that was a particular feature of my mind. Do they normally drop in numbered sequence 1 - 100, or randomly, I don’t know?


But just watching the balls drop actually revealed the really interesting part, which was that that there had been an entirely separate quality just quietly observing the whole process taking place. The observer me had no part in how that thought had come into being, took place as a thought, and passed on. Remember this usually happens so quickly that thought is rarely seen as a sequence but as a single cognition, and so we possess it and make it mine.

Is there more than one of me?

At first it seems like there must be two people, one having thoughts arising randomly and another that is entirely separate from those thoughts, just watching. What became absolutely clear (at least to my own satisfaction) is quite simply that a thought, any thought, does not represent me. Even the aggregate of all the thoughts in the mind do not make up who I am, have nothing to do with me, if I remain a distinct and discrete observer of them. In that slo-motion moment I knew that for sure. If this turns out to be true, who actually is thinking? Just think of the implications.

Thoughts, ideas, opinions, philosophies are like guests passing through - there for some time, but their residence is only ever temporary. Sometimes they may stay a long time, seeming to take up permanent residence. And then they can take on the attributes of a personality. And then it’s only a short step to seeming like that is who I am. But that is illusory. A powerful illusion to be sure, which is why it takes a certain seriousness of intent to manage the powerful forces that lead to all kinds of self-deception. Try this for a few possibilities:
Cognitive biases

If you look around in the world the capacity for self-regulation - which is absolutely not possible without self awareness - is a very rare quality, yet most corporations, companies, governments, institutions, and of course people, everyone in fact, will claim that capacity for themselves. But it is rare indeed to see it maintained constantly and consistently. As a historical example, that much was understood by the Founding Fathers of the United States, when they built the checks and balances into the three divisions of government - executive, legislative and judiciary - of the American constitution. 

Change of metaphor

Imagine a large country house. There are many guests staying there. The host has a different relationship with all his guests, but in the tradition of hospitality is unfailingly attentive and generous to all the guests equally. They are honoured guests. Now obviously some of these people are going to be very welcome; some will be neutral, part of a more formal relationship maybe; and some the host would really rather not have to entertain but there they are. 

Invariably the welcome guests will know the appropriate behaviour and will know also to a nicety the appropriate moment to leave. Whereas unwelcome guests will invariably be the last to leave. With these people sometimes the host is able, without in any way losing hospitality - like attentiveness, politeness, tolerance - to make it clear in a certain reserve of manner that the time has come to depart. It is essential that parting should be honourable between host and guest or there will almost certainly be repercussions later. In every case the parting should be clean no matter how difficult the last guests can be. 

The host represents the awareness and the guests represent all the different thoughts, ideas and opinions that crowd in around us in the social gathering of our mind, taking up the host’s time and attention. Some are most welcome, some neutral and some distinctly unwelcome and maybe drawing a lot of attention to themselves. But the awareness remains hospitable but knowing, friendly but detached, wise but modest.

There has to be that separation somewhere in being a knower of oneself, that there is some time between a thought and the observer of the thought. All else follows from there. And we can become first class hosts to all our guests until it's time for them to leave, which they will when they come to understand that they are just guests and the right time has come.

Sunday 9 July 2017

Going more deeply into the Heart

There’s a practice we do on the 5/7/9 day meditation courses which goes like this. 

Think of a question, something that is relevant in your life right now. It doesn’t have to be the Big One, but you should identify with it at a personal level. When you have it clear, watch the breath for a little while, a neutral space, leaving the question for the time being. 

First the mind

Then focus at the eyebrow centre and using the breath as a vehicle enter into the space behind the eyebrow centre. When you have found your way into the space you can drop the breath and begin to become accustomed to the space of the mind (known as chidakash) where you are now. The language of the mind is thought. See how the mind manifests itself in the form of thoughts. 

When you can observe the activity here as thoughts, drop in that question/inquiry you had decided on. Watch the mind react to the question without in any way trying to influence the outcome. Just be interested to find out where it goes. You may get an answer, you may not, but you will know what you think. That you can store quietly away to recall in a little while. 

Then you leave the mind space, and return to the neutrality of normal breath awareness. 

Then the heart

After a little time again the breath becomes a vehicle but now the point of entry is a portal at the centre of the chest. You will then find yourself entering a different space behind the front of the chest, the heart space (known as hridayakash). Then begin to discover the language of the heart, which is emotion, pure and simple. There is no thought here, only direct experience of emotion and feelings. Get accustomed to the language of the heart. 

Then drop in the same question from the beginning, only this time feel the emotional reaction without any interference of thought. After some time you will know what the reaction has been, and you can store that quietly to recall later. 

Leave the heart space and return to normal breath awareness without any distraction. 

What do you find?

Then leave the breath and in that neutral space recall the reaction to your question you had in the mind in the form of thought. Once you know that put it aside and recall the reaction in the heart in the form of emotion. When you have that, then put both side by side: reaction in thought, reaction in emotion and compare the two. Then ask yourself these questions. 

Are the two reactions the same, or different?

If different, which do you think more accurately represents you? 

And again if different, which one are you likely to act on when push comes to shove?

Here’s the point

Now although that’s a fairly lengthy description, it may not work at the deeper level the first time without some supplementary guidance. But here’s the point. A quick survey every time this practice is done shows that the large majority always say there is a difference between head and heart; and usually it comes as something of a surprise. And the majority always say it is the heart that most accurately represents Me. But there is some uncertainty as to which is likely to be influencing the action that will follow.

Also if the answer is the same you can rest assured that on another question on another occasion, in nearly every case the division of head and heart will eventually show itself. So best to accept it. Those who consistently deny the differences in head and heart have invested too closely in one over the other for too long, usually the mind over the heart, but the other way round happens as well. Besides, seeing into the inconsistencies like this can act as a wake-up call to start a meaningful inquiry.

What we can conclude

So without lingering on why’s and wherefore’s, here’s what we can conclude. Generally speaking we do not know our own heart. We do not know, unless we stop long enough to look, what we really feel about... a lot. 

This is because the mind is usually the predominant force in life - it’s what we hear nearly all the time, and in the end almost automatically follow. 

Because when the mind is that predominant we do not feel the heart even if it is aching to be heard.

So if that is true, when we do make the heart connection it comes as something of a surprise. And even if we do recognise it as representing Me more accurately we may have been in thrall to the mind for long enough to be unable to respond to the heart straightaway. 

What does heart actually mean?

One thing needs to be clear to remove any lingering ambiguity. When we use the word 'heart' it can refer to a number of different levels of understanding and meaning:

1 Heart as a physical organ, keeping circulation going and keeping us alive into the bargain. This obviously is not the seat of emotion. 

2 Heart as mind masquerading as emotion. They are not really emotions at all but thoughts looking emotional to achieve an end - like nearly everything on TV. Not the seat of emotion. 

3  Heart as emotion, but the everyday and mostly temporary emotions that we hope will smooth the way. Like 'I love you so much', which I do feel and mean… until something better comes along. Not very reliable and not to be confused with:

4  Heart as hridayakash, the space of the heart, the seat of emotion. These are the emotions in their original and natural state. 

Emotions in their natural state

We digress at this point to explain the natural state of emotion in the heart. Imagine original pure light, transcendent and perfect. Now imagine a crystal or a diamond. The light enters the crystal and refracts and breaks up the pure white light into all different colours of the spectrum. The colours represent the spectrum of emotions. And incidentally the analogy goes further because different emotions align with different colours being different frequencies of the same energy, which can be visualised in meditation along with the associated emotion.

Emotions are forces of energy. The original energy is pure and perfect, like the transcendental light. And when that energy is broken by our individual nature up as it were, like refracted light, the sum of those different emotions in a way express who we are. Like some of us have more red or orange, some less blue, or yellow or magenta etc. But although we take them personally, they should still be understood as different, less than perfect, expressions of the original pure energy. I hope that’s clear. The trouble is we are so attracted to the pretty colours that we miss the pure light from which they come: 

'The colors are appealing 
And nothing is revealing 
The pure light 
That comes from god-knows-where.'

What it comes down to is that in hridayakash all the emotions can have a measured expression. They can be felt fully, but also observed impartially, because all emotions have the capacity to be transformed and return to their original pure state. In life there are positive emotions to express and negative emotions that need to be managed, in hridayakash all emotions are considered and can be expressed equally. And you can see there’s a certain kind of freedom in this.

Finally, back to where we started this digression, this can only happen with a clear and accurate connection with hridayakash, not with the lower expression of emotions in daily life, which are not consistent and give inconsistent and inaccurate readings.

Heart at the highest level

5  There is one more where Heart is used at the highest level (better with a capital 'H'). Here Heart is the place or space where all mundane qualities are left behind, where there is no division, or uncertainty of conflicting emotion. It is still, at peace, at rest - the kind you'd never want to disturb. It is also represented in hridayakash, at the very centre, beyond the emotions that surround it. It is present in every one of us and it can be visualised as a beautiful transcendental golden flame. 

Summary

So exploring hridayakash loosens the somewhat tyrannical control of the mind, takes us nearer to how we more accurately perceive ourselves, gives a measured expression to lost or suppressed  emotions, as well as providing a way to see beyond this transitory nature through the medium of that most personal of all experience, the field of emotion. In the meditation courses this practice is just the introduction to others that explore the heart space more fully. Hridayakash is worth getting into, it's very near to your self.

Saturday 14 January 2017

The Carpentry of Meditation

Meditation will only really work if you take the long-term view
 

Suppose a carpenter is to hammer in a nail. Consider these three elements: the intention - to hammer in the nail - requiring focus and awareness; the tool or tools of the job - the right size nail and hammer; and the carpenter to hammer in the nail, presumably you in this case. So these three: Intention, Tools, and the Carpenter. Of these three easily the most important is the carpenter. Without the carpenter there is no intention, and then the tools also remain inactive without the carpenter to handle them. But how often, for example, does the carpenter underestimate the intention, or more to the point think too much about the tools and not enough about the skill of the carpenter?